room at the top: October 2008

Right now I'm in the air somewhere over the midwest. I guess I should mention I'm in a plane. I'm surrounded by some sleepy people with awkward hair and travel pillows around their necks. Some of them have large headphones on as well. Today I feel like I'm back in pre-school for some reason. Maybe it's because the flight attendants look as though they could have jumped out of 1985. They just have that golden look to them, like many people and things did back then. Like my moms brand new shiny volvo station wagon. The new car smell still comes to mind. I think it's the way the sun shines through the windows on a plane at 30,000 feet that reminds me of being young again. That and the fact that now on Southwest flights the attendants come around with a big box of 'snacks' for you to choose between. One of the snacks being Lorna Dunes, a staple at my Grandma's house. It's funny watching people half-awake with their sleepy eyes rummage through a box that some flight attendant has to hold in front of their face as they decide which snack will best hit the spot. All the while the attendant must careen carefully to keep their balance as the plane jostles to and fro. If I could take pictures of this going down right now I would...

The past week I've learned a few things about myself. Funny things really. For one I love green M&M's. I've also been thinking at what age I was when I can remember things fairly vividly. Probably because I'm starting to wonder what kind of things my kid will pick up on as he grows up and what things he'll be funny about too. I had a really nice watch fall apart during the tour. You can barely make it out in the picture we used for the new album cover. I have small wrists. I realize every time I go 'watch shopping' I tell the nice lady opening the glass windows this fact. Why? I guess I hope that it will help her not to think I'm less of a man because I have to use almost all the holes in the strap to make the watch stay in place. Or maybe it just helps to make conversation. Or maybe I really do have awkwardly small wrists. Anyways, the strap came completely undone in about a years time and so Dominique, having worked in retail before, decided to help me out while I've been on the road and called the store to see if we could get a strap. After a week of playing tag with the manager she said she would give me an altogether new watch since they no longer make this one. This brings me to the funny realization - I'm the kind of person who hates asking for things. So to have to go in to a store and pick out a new watch and walk out with a new one for free makes me feel weird. Even if this is what they should do and agreed to do anyways. I realize I'm this way a lot. I don't like asking for a cup of water at the drive through. What? I don't like taking more than one snack - even though they encourage it. I guess my fear is that someone at the back of the plane might not get their cheese crackers. I only like to do things when I ask if it's really OK to do so. A few weeks ago I had a terrible experience with a store that rhymes with 'battery farm' not wanting to return an item we had ordered for our house. I had asked before ordering if it was returnable, covering my bases I thought. It wasn't my intent to order this large item only to return it, but after receiving it we didn't like it and decided to return it that same day. They changed their tune though and stated it was all the sudden non returnable. After practically threatening the company and them having to change their website they caved in. Anyways, back to the watch. We didn't have the receipt, but we had the warranty with the original sales tag attached to it. I picked out a watch quickly and the 'dudes' working took forever to get me out of there with the watch. They wouldn't look me in the eyes really, as if I was a thief stealing something from under their noses. They continued to make comments on how I really need to keep the receipt this time etc... The manager had left a note for them that it was all cool, but still they gave me a weird vibe as if they were making a huge exception and doing me a favor. This was just what I expected though so it came as no surprise. It put me in a weird mood the rest of the way home. I guess I have no faith in retail, not that I should anyways, and very little faith in customer service. You know when you go to best buy and they have open boxed items for sale? Most of the time they are damaged or missing something like a cable, a battery, or a remote? Yeah I'm pretty sure those once belonged to people that have no problem using something then taking it back bruised and dirty. This gets me going too! I guess next time I need to take some nice pictures of something I'll buy a camera then return it a week or two later. I'll just tell them I didn't like it.

Anyways, as I'm thinking all of this, before I type it out I'm on the plane still.... listening to my ipod and my eyes start to close. Just for a minute it's all coming together in my head. I'm remembering my pre-school teacher I had a crush on, my mom picking me up in the volvo, the way the sun made the fall leaves look on the way home and then suddenly...... My tray table is pushed down in front of me and the woman with my dr. pepper is looking at me all flustered and hands me my drink only to sarcastically say 'well you know I was about ready to skip you.' That's when it hit me. It's been this woman my whole life that has made me not want to ask for anything. She's been everywhere I go. She's been the one huffing and puffing behind the counter at Tim Horton's when I ask for a toasted bagel. She's the one on the phone at pottery barn. She's the one working at fossil giving me the dirty eye. She's the one one working for Northwest that doesn't want to enter my frequent flyer miles in for me. She's everywhere!! And she's the voice that pops into my head the moment I think about taking more snacks.